The Probability Factor

You may have heard that you have unlimited possibilities for your future. This is actually a theory that is consistent with what the scientists have found when looking at energy on the quantum level. It makes sense so you put it to the test. However, when you use the law of attraction or any fancy, woo-woo trick to manifest your reality, you could get frustrated wondering why your stuff hasn’t shown up yet.

The gurus will tell you “anything is possible” or “reach for your dreams” and you believe them for a while until the results you desire do not materialize. The problem is not that the possibilities aren’t there but the probability of you having what you want is not high enough to bring it to fruition.

There is no exact science to manifestation. Yes, I said it! Contrary to popular belief, you cannot control your destiny completely because of there is an element of uncertainty that surrounds us all. No matter how well you plan your life, stuff happens, right? You see this when a healthy person gets cancer and a three-pack a day smoker lives until he is in his nineties. Nothing is guaranteed except, of course, that you are going to die one day.

At first this knowledge may take the wind out of your conjuring sails as you throw up your hands and say, “I give up!” But, actually knowing this can relieve some of the pressure you have around making things happen the way you want them, when you want them. Sadly, I think the hype of the law of attraction has caused some people great emotional strain. You may blame yourself for your “poor manifestation skills” when your best-friend brags, “look what I created! I am so powerful!” You may wonder that something is wrong with you or that you have bad karma, when the real truth is that the external is somewhat out of your hands and your friend may have just had lucky break.

I used to look up to the gurus and think that they had something magical that I didn’t have. I would try to fix myself so that I could manifest my true love and live in a mansion sipping champagne by my pool all day. I did so much work on myself that I thought I was really cursed or broken. I really felt bad based on my lack of results and believed that I was missing something. What was wrong with me?

When I finally met my true love, I was doing a combination of inner work in conjunction with a random action that I took without expecting any outcome. The precise formula of my thoughts, feelings, actions and faith all came into alignment by accident. I clearly remember the most important element that changed my destiny was letting go of the result.

The way things show up in your life involves what I call the “probability factor.” You do not have control over the result but only increasing the probability of getting what you want. If you look at creating your life in this way, you can be in command of your feelings around your desire. Instead of feeling powerless and trying to force something external to happen, you can simply focus on the things you can do to increase the probability factor and let go of the result.

Sure, everything in your life is a reflection of your subconscious programming but you don’t need to adjust every element of your subconscious to bring about the results you want. Stop worrying that there is some random idea or belief that is blocking you that you must clear to get what you want. All you need to do is increase the probability factor by continuing to work on transforming your thoughts and beliefs as they become conscious to you, taking appropriate action and having faith as much as you can. Just keep doing your best instead of trying to be perfect.

No one can tell you exactly what you need to do or what idea you must transform to get to that exact tipping point of change because there is also that uncertainty element that comes into play. Your experience in life is a combination of your probability factor and a little bit of luck. You life is not predictable.

Think about your thoughts and actions right now and grade yourself on how they will affect your probability factor. Are you doing self-hypnosis daily to shift your thoughts and core beliefs as well as taking action that brings you closer to your goal?  If your goal is weight, do you exercise regularly and eat the proper foods? If you goal is to make money, are you uncovering any subconscious blocks to wealth and taking action to draw the money to you? How about finding true love? Are you complaining to your friends that there are no single men out there and sitting home waiting for someone to knock on your door or are you keeping your chin up and being out there socially so that your true mate can find you? All of your thoughts, feelings and actions contribute to your probability factor, either increasing it or decreasing it.

Every time you surround your mind with supportive ideas such as listening to self-hypnosis, visualizing your goal or taking a workshop to understand hidden blocks to what you want, you are contributing to the probability of attaining your desire. Each time you listen to your self-hypnosis audio, it is like putting a dollar in the bank. The isolated act doesn’t seem to mean much but the collection of them adds up to make a huge difference.

Your only job is to increase your probability factor through your thoughts, feelings and actions. Let go and give up the responsibility of the outcome to God/The Universe. There is a certain peace of mind that comes with the trust that the divine probably has a better plan anyway.

Chakra Clearing & Grounding Meditation

Check out a preview my newest audio (edited to fit into 10 minutes) while watching beautiful scenes and relaxing images. If you want the full version, you can purchase it from my online store here for only $19.97.

Closing the Gap – Loving Where You Are

When I lived in Colorado, I did a lot of hiking. The mountains are so beautiful and there is nothing like the sounds of nature. One of those beautiful Rocky Mountain summer days, I was winding up the path to the top of a hiking trail and enjoying my time outside of the busy city. After a few hours, I noticed that my legs were starting to burn and I looked forward to reaching the summit. My mind shifted to focus on the destination and I quickly tuned out the singing birds, the waterfalls and the fresh air. I turned another corner only to find out that I still had such a long way to go.

At that point I was thinking about how out of shape I was, how I miscalculated the length of the passage to the top and if I should just turn around and go back. Out of breath, I stopped to take a break and then I looked behind me and noticed how far I had travelled up the mountain. My car was a tiny speck in the distance and I couldn’t believe how high I climbed. I was back in the moment, feeling proud of myself and how far I had come. I was able to hear the leaves ruffle in the wind and enjoy the view. The gap between where I was and where I wanted to be was closed. The last leg of the trip was pure joy as I was present to all the sights around me, even with sore muscles and tired feet. When I had reached to top, it was a good feeling to reach the goal but I knew that the gift was in the journey.

This story is such a great metaphor for life. Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Are you waiting for your true love or for the next promotion? Maybe you are waiting to be happy until your vacation starts. The feeling of dissatisfaction does not come because the things you want have not materialized, but in the idea that what you want is going to make your life any better or happier.

When you create goals for your business or personal life, they aren’t supposed to be there to put your life on hold until they are achieved. Goals help enrich your life, not make your life. If you have the attitude that it isn’t enough right now, it will never be enough. You will always want more—more dates, more attention, more commitment, more money, more status, another business deal, etc.  You will relentlessly riding a treadmill that goes nowhere and leaves you constantly dissatisfied with your life.

The gap between where you are and where you want to be is created by your mind. The gap is a story you tell yourself about your life and how much better things will become one day. To truly find joy in life is to close the gap. Find ways to generate a full feeling about life instead of starving for something (or someone) to save you.

The secret to attracting unlimited abundance and love is to feel as if you already have it. Your subconscious mind cannot see the future and only creates what it already knows. If you want to shift your life in a new direction, you must create the space for the deep mind to build upon. It could form your life upon the idea of not enough or upon more than enough…your choice.

To generate the belief that you already have more than enough, turn around and take a good assessment of how far you have come in your life. Become conscious of all of your wonderful qualities and accomplishments. Really feel so proud of who you are and where you are right now. If you focus every day on a sense of fullness, you will keep attracting more good things into your life. You will always have more than enough of whatever you want if you believe you have it all right here and now. Everything out there is a mirror of your deep beliefs inside. You cannot escape your mind and it can make your life a heaven or a hell. Getting something external may temporarily make you feel good but will ultimately never be enough if you have the mindset of “not enough.” Conversely, if you have the belief that you are more than enough, even the tiniest of accomplishments will be celebrated with incredible joy.

So, the next time you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else, jump back in the moment and close the gap. Take a deep breath, exhale and say, “I have more than enough and everything I need is here for me.” Interesting things happen out there when you do this inside, but most importantly you don’t have to put off feeling good any longer.

The Gift of Negative Thinking

Have you had enough of your negative thinking? Trying too hard to be positive all the time? Well, this should give your mind a bit of relief. Relax…negative thinking is not all bad. With so much hoopla out there about thinking positive and how destructive negative thoughts can be, I wanted to shed some light on the subject. Here are some things I have learned about negative thinking that may surprise you:

It is natural for us to be negative. The constant thoughts that flow through your mind come from the subconscious. The subconscious mind’s primary goal is to move you from pain and towards pleasure. So, it focuses on the pain to fix it. When you wake up with a cold, your mind will pay attention to what’s wrong. You notice your stuffy breathing and your body’s aches because your subconscious naturally wants to move you back to pleasure again. When you wake up any other morning without a cold, you don’t even notice how good your body feels and how you can breathe easy. When things are going well, your mind sets it aside and focuses on what to adjust.

This is actually a good thing. You don’t want to ignore the signals that your body is telling you that it is out of alignment. The same with negative thinking, it is simply a signal that your life isn’t where you want it to be. It takes conscious effort and presence to appreciate the moment and the good in life. No quick trick is going to erase the negative and make you automatically positive all the time. Your mind just doesn’t work that way.

You can’t get rid of all your negative thinking. Yes, that’s right. No matter how many people claim their magic technique clears your negative thinking, it is simply impossible.  Trying to remove all pessimistic thinking is a losing battle. This approach only labels the thoughts as harmful which creates MORE negativity and repulsion. You live in a world of duality and you cannot have positive thoughts without the other. Do you only love yourself when you are upbeat and positive or when you are manifesting things you want? It is great to attract your desires but when you get down on yourself when you think negative, it is a trap that is hard to escape. You become attached the external results and not spiritually-free.

You can use the negative thinking to your advantage. Instead of trying to push it away which only makes it stronger, you can use the destructive emotions just as the martial artists use the “opponent force” in battle. Have compassion for the thought and see it as something that has no power.  The resistance makes it stronger, but going toward it with love makes it dissolve away.

You are not your thoughts. Whether you think positive or negative, your thoughts in your daily life come from your human experience. There is another, more powerful part of you without thought that is divine and perfect. By simply recognizing that thoughts are just thoughts, you can step back into the vantage point of your higher self and watch your mind do its thing without getting sucked into the drama.  The real goal is seeing yourself larger than your thoughts instead of the opposite.

Your thoughts have power. With all that said, your thoughts still have power. You are always thinking and it is a good idea to make sure your habitual thinking is in alignment with what you want. Self-hypnosis is a great resource that I call “training wheels for the mind” to support you in getting into the habit of thoughts that support you and your dreams. The caveat here is to not feel as though you have to think positive 100% of the time and get down on yourself when you have a pity party.

The most effective path is to generate unconditional love toward yourself and life’s circumstances. Don’t condition your life experience based on whether you are upbeat or down in the dumps.  You are a human being and a spiritual being. Love both parts of you and know both parts of you.  Your true self is greater than any negative thought so there is no need to fear the ideas manufactured by the human in you. In each moment you have the opportunity to step back and see the truth of who you really are and you are always amazing.

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Special

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“I would like to thank you for helping me. I’ve been smoke free since my hypnotherapy session with you on January 18, 2005 – over a year now & I know that I won’t have to worry about being a slave to cigarettes ever again! I just wanted to let you know that your help made all the difference in my success with quitting smoking. The calming “trigger” word that you gave me helped me get past the initial physical withdrawal during the first week of quitting & after that it wasn’t hard at all.” D.L. – Denver, CO

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Stress Free Holidays – Be Healthy, Wealthy & Calm

This week I did an hour teleseminar hosted by my good friend, Connie Bennett, author of Sugar Shock! We know this time of year brings up a plethora of emotions as we face overindulging in sweets, spending and family drama. We are offering a free replay for the month of December so that you can experience some LIVE HYPNOSIS (I do three short sessions) and explain how the subconscious mind rules your life and how to get in control of your destiny.

I created two special packages for this event at a greatly-reduced price:

Listen to the podcast below and here are links to the special product packages:

COMPLETE RELAXATION MP3 SET – 9 PROGRAMS FOR ONLY $67

WEIGHT LOSS MP3 SET – 4 PROGRAMS FOR ONLY $39

Stress-Relief Holiday Seminar – Click Here to Play

Battling Negative Thinking by Watering the Rose

When you realize that your thoughts create your life, at first you may feel liberated and think, “That’s easy, I’ll just change my thoughts.” However, when you attempt to shift the mind from its old patterns, a great resistance presents itself within you and you begin an internal battle. Your pattern of thinking has been consistent for decades and you cannot just flip a switch and become super-positive and attract a car, a lover, a house or a job overnight. The process of transforming your habits of thinking takes some time and effort but the rewards are amazing.

Of course, the fastest and most effective way to shift your thinking is using self-hypnosis because it works with the subconscious mind (the roots of your thinking). When your mind is in a relaxed state of trance, it is open to new ideas and allows the deep mind to absorb positive messages. It takes 1,000 affirmations to match the power of one affirmation in a hypnotic state. Depending on the person, it could take 30-90 days of regular daily practice to make a permanent shift in the subconscious about a certain core belief. During that time, the battle on the conscious level begins and many misinterpret this as the hypnosis isn’t working. The reality is that the closer you are to change, the louder the opposing force of thought becomes. It is actually working exactly as it should and there are ways to help it along by being present with your thinking throughout the day.

I recently came up with a great metaphor that may help you as you shift your thinking. Imagine that you have two potted plants in front of you. One pot contains a large, overgrown weed that contains all of the thoughts, ideas, beliefs that are not supporting what you want. The weed represents thoughts that are disempowering, negative and hurtful. Then, in the other pot imagine a beautiful rose. That rose represents the part of you that loves you, believes in you and attracts wonderful people, success and creativity into your life. Your focus directs which pot you water. So if you focus on the negative thoughts, you are watering the weed and it will grow larger and become more powerful. If you stop yourself and focus on the good in you and life, you are watering the rose.

You water the rose each time you listen to a self-hypnosis program, every time you do something nice for yourself or others, every time you think of someone you love or loves you, and every time you say “no” and keep your boundaries. You may not notice a big change overnight, but eventually that rose will grow into a large beautiful rose bush with lots of buds and a wonderful fragrance. The weed , without attention, will wither away and become weak. The negative thinking will slow down to a quiet whisper. There is a tipping point when you automatically water the rose without having to train yourself and you will naturally feel more confident, loving and positive about your life.

When you feel good naturally, you will be in the flow. You seem to be the lucky one, attracting opportunities, loving people, money, success and all those bonuses that you want in life. Regardless of what shows up, you just feel better. Remember, you get what you focus on so keep watering the rose and you’ll start to sing, “everything’s coming up roses!” in your life.

Subconscious Mind & Metaphors

NY Hypnosis Expert and Love Hypnotist Debra Berndt is interviewed on Life Coach TV in NYC and explains the power of metaphors and how they work with the subconscious mind. open source video, online video platform, video solution

Five things that stop you from attracting what you want

There are tons of books and articles about the law of attraction and many of them tell you how to attract money, love or health. They make it sound so easy and you wonder why you aren’t getting the results that you want. If you feel like you are failing to shift your current circumstances, review these five common blocks that prevent you from attracting your desires:

1. Desperation – When you are holding the energy of desperation, you are really saying to yourself, “I don’t trust.” You get what you focus on, so shift your focus to faith and you should see a new outcome emerge.

2. Incompatible Action – When your actions are not aligned with what you want, you block the flow. Whether you just sit around and wait for a check to arrive in the mail, or date unavailable men while hoping to find a committed relationship, both inaction and misaligned action sends a signal to the subconscious mind that you are not really serious or focused on your goal.

3. Peers and Family – If you are focused on creating change in your life but there are people around you that do not want you to grow, it is more difficult to attract new realities. Many people who do not want to live their dreams often pull down those who reach for them, secretly hoping them to fail. Some people you may have to be around for family obligations, but the less time you spend with the “dream stealers” the more you will see an increase in your results.

4. Complaining – One of the biggest energy drainers in your life is complaining. Practice giving yourself seven days without a complaint and watch what changes around you. When you complain, you focus on what is wrong and you get what you focus on.

5. Believing what you see – Yes, this is a big one. Most people look at their life as a fixed circumstance. Since they do not see the money, love or weight loss they want, they have a hard time believing it is possible. Instead of believing in their dreams, they focus on the current reality as if it will never change. Start believing in the unseen and miracles will begin to occur all around you.

One last bit of advice when trying to use the law of attraction to bring change into your life. Trust in the process as life unfolds to you. Something unexpected, and sometimes unwanted, can be the bridge for a new reality. Even the darkest times have their gifts. Napoleon Hill in the book “Think and Grow Rich” says, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

Let Love In – Now a Bestseller on Amazon!

Debra Berndt’s new book is now available, but you can buy it today on Amazon. Now an Amazon Bestseller!
Let Love In: How to Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner is the first-ever self-hypnosis guide to attract the love of your life.

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