1. Desperation – When you are holding the energy of desperation, you are really saying to yourself, “I don’t trust.” You get what you focus on, so shift your focus to faith and you should see a new outcome emerge.

2. Incompatible Action – When your actions are not aligned with what you want, you block the flow. Whether you just sit around and wait for a check to arrive in the mail, or date unavailable men while hoping to find a committed relationship, both inaction and misaligned action sends a signal to the subconscious mind that you are not really serious or focused on your goal.

3. Peers and Family – If you are focused on creating change in your life but there are people around you that do not want you to grow, it is more difficult to attract new realities. Many people who do not want to live their dreams often pull down those who reach for them, secretly hoping them to fail. Some people you may have to be around for family obligations, but the less time you spend with the “dream stealers” the more you will see an increase in your results.

4. Complaining – One of the biggest energy drainers in your life is complaining. Practice giving yourself seven days without a complaint and watch what changes around you. When you complain, you focus on what is wrong and you get what you focus on.

5. Believing what you see – Yes, this is a big one. Most people look at their life as a fixed circumstance. Since they do not see the money, love or weight loss they want, they have a hard time believing it is possible. Instead of believing in their dreams, they focus on the current reality as if it will never change. Start believing in the unseen and miracles will begin to occur all around you.

One last bit of advice when trying to use the law of attraction to bring change into your life. Trust in the process as life unfolds to you. Something unexpected, and sometimes unwanted, can be the bridge for a new reality. Even the darkest times have their gifts. Napoleon Hill in the book “Think and Grow Rich” says, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

Thinking that more money or having a mate will make you happy leads you down a path of unfulfilled expectations. In addition, being hard on yourself for not being successful, judging your current circumstances as wrong and believing that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed will keep you stuck. What you resist will persist and the anxiety you feel about not having those things will be a persistent until you let it go. Your subconscious mind perceives the feeling of lack and continues to give you that experience until you change your energy.

I am not taking about giving up on your dreams but acknowledging that there is nothing that can change in your external environment that will ever make you happier than you can be right now. Happiness is a choice and is solely based on your own perception. Even in times of complete devastation, you are free to interpret your circumstances. You are the one who decides what everything means.

When I was single, I had so much anxiety about my love life. I wondered when my time would come when my true love would find me and whisk me away from that awful singles world. After I met my boyfriend, who is absolutely incredible, I knew that I was still me and life was not all that different.

Years later, I left my thriving practice in Denver and moved to New York City. I had to start my business over again, money was tight and it took a while to generate momentum. In the first few months, I meditated everyday to help ease my financial stress. One day, as I sat there unable to face my anxiety any longer, a thought came to my head that shifted the tension forever. “Don’t you remember when you used to worry like this over finding a man?” There it was…life’s never-ending pursuit of something to get better…right in my face.

I realized that no matter what you seem to get in life, there will be always more that you need if you are dependent upon external forces to bring you happiness. Feeling as if the power is outside of you, it is no wonder that you would feel small and fearful. The anxiety that is created by lack of money or love must be addressed in order to be fully at peace. If not, you will be clinging on to any money that comes in or the first man that arrives, remaining in a state of uncertainty and turmoil throughout your life.

You see, what you really want is to feel good, not money or love. You are tricked to believe that joy comes in a nice fat check or the sexiest man or woman alive. A sense of happiness can be realized within you right now and supersedes any attachment to results that previously kept you in a state of panic. Working with the felt sense in your body and using visualization to release the tension is a powerful tool in discovering your own inner peace.

Self-hypnosis is the perfect technique to alleviate panic because it not only brings you to a state of extraordinary relaxation, but works with the subconscious gunk that caused the discomfort in the first place.

Once the anxiety is cleared and you have peace of mind, you can freely attract any of those external bonuses whenever you want. When they arrive, you will be amazed at how little they add to your sense of joy since you already found greater elation inside. Once you discover your own well of joy that is abundant within you, you will never feel lack again.

There is a myth that life gets better. This moment is all you have. Stop wasting it on thinking about what you don’t have and be grateful for this precious human life that is right here, right now before it goes away.

Check out my free teleseminar on Money Anxiety Freedom!

1. Be open to any possibility. You may want to attract a certain type of person, money or a specific job, but there is a wisdom inside of you that knows exactly what you need. Trust in that intelligence and be open to what shows up for you. Maybe you are attracting what you want but you haven’t seen through the whole picture yet. Sometimes not getting what we ask for is also a sign that something even better is on the way.

2. Change the subconscious. Of course, many of those who are familiar with my work know that this is a huge component for success in getting what you want. Even if you do think positive on the surface, the subconscious mind could be holding a different idea and block your attraction vibe. Self-hypnosis is the best way to reveal subconscious blocks and amend them to get you back on track.

3. Watch Your Energy. You may be thinking positive but still feeling doubt or impatience around attracting what you want. If you are fearful about money or finding love, you are sending a strong signal to the subconscious that you really don’t believe you can have it. This immediately stops to flow to you and creates more of the same lack in your outer world. I just created two clearing programs to address these issues for money and love. Money Anxiety Release and Dating Anxiety Release. Getting your energy back on track will support you in abundance.

4. Protect Your Mind from Negative Messages. Whether it is the television, radio or even the crowd you hang out with, these outer influences penetrate your subconscious mind and hypnotize you unwillingly. Surround yourself with supportive people and happy movies and songs. Your mind will get the right idea.

5. Be Grateful. You hear this all the time but this is such an important element to attracting what you want. If you go through a list of ten things every day that you are grateful for, your energy vibration will that of abundance and love. This higher vibration sends out a signal to the universe that you want more of it. Check out my Gratitude Video – it’s free!

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is tough enough as it is. Go with the flow and be happy and grateful in the here and now. Follow those good feelings and more good will flow to you constantly. Remember that nothing out there in the world can make you any happier than you could be right here in this moment. Relax and be in the present to make every day a miraculous adventure.

Not to sound cliche here, but money will not bring you more joy. I know, it would be nice to quit your job, retire at the beach and drive a fine car, but if you are not happy to begin with, you will still find it miserable. Nothing will ever be good enough and you will think MORE money is the answer.

The reason people block money from flowing to them is their fear of it. Fear of losing it, fear of not having it, fear of wasting it, etc. etc. The root problem is the anxiety you have about not having it and the temporary lift you get when it shows up. To break the cycle, you can work with the uncomfortable feeling around money that is caused when you balance your check book or the weight in your chest when the bills arrive in the mail. Once you transform that feeling, you will be cleared of your baggage and see money flow to you effortlessly.

I created a new program to help you clear money anxiety so that you can be truly grateful for this moment regardless of your financial situation. As you shift your energy, you will see how you are truly financially free.

Here a sample here:
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Money Anxiety Release Preview

Buy the full version here

Money Anxiety Clearing Visualization MP3

Then there are those amazing hypnotists at comedy clubs or colleges who mesmerize the audience with their power. They display their incredible ability to make people do things that embarrass them like barking like a dog, sexual acts or even forgetting their name. They argue that they introduce hypnosis to a larger audience and, to their credit many people emerge with a new understanding and interest in this cool process. Unfortunately, there are also some audience members who get scared.

While the previous examples can be entertaining in a weird way, the actual experience of hypnosis is much more profound and enjoyable than depicted in the movies or on stage. These performances can demonstrate the power of the mind but have caused much fear in people who contact me asking, “Is it dangerous?”  Here are the common myths of hypnosis and the real truth about this wonderful process:

1.    The hypnotist has power over his/her subject -  FALSE
The hypnotist or hypnotherapist is simply a guide to help the client/subject enter into the trance state. The person is in complete control of their experience and can open their eyes at any time. They can also reject any idea that does not match their moral beliefs. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis – there is no difference. The subject is completely in charge of how deep they go into the state. Some naturally enter more easily than others. You will notice the stage hypnotist will bring several subjects on stage and test to find the one out of the crowd that is more suggestible. About one in ten people are highly hypnotizable.

2.    You are knocked out and unconscious – FALSE
Depending on the depth of trance, most subjects hear everything and are very conscious of what is going on around them. Actually, the state helps the subject become hyper-aware of subtle sounds as their mind is more focused on the present moment. (Hypnosis is a great training tool for those with ADD.) Subjects almost always remember everything that occurs in a session. The feeling is similar to being absorbed in a good movie.

3.    Some people cannot be hypnotized – TRUE
Hypnosis is a natural state that every person enters in and out every day. It is the state of mind you enter just before drifting off to sleep and upon awakening. People experience a trance state when they are driving a familiar route, watching television or a movie, or even listening to an engaging speaker.  With that said, there are some people who cannot use hypnosis as a therapeutic tool because of mental impairments. This myth is a convenient excuse for someone who is not properly trained in hypnosis. Most failure rates are caused by the lack of rapport between the client and the hypnotist. No one can be hypnotized against their will. If proper rapport is not established, the client will refuse to relax.

4.     Hypnosis erases parts of your mind – FALSE
The hypnotic experience alone does not erase things from your brain or mind. What hypnosis does is create a relaxed state of mind so that the subject can work with his/her subconscious beliefs and amend them. The subject does the changing by accepting new ideas and beliefs in the state by working with the framework of their existing beliefs. Since all of our memories are part fact and part fantasy, the subject can rewrite the “story” in the subconscious mind so that the emotional reaction or thought patterns shift to become more in line with the person’s personal goals. For example, the hypnotist does not erase smoking from a person’s mind but can reframe the idea of smoking to be something unpleasant so that the subject will have no desire for the cigarette after the session. If a person has negative self-talk, the hypnotist can guide the subject to find resources in the subconscious that help to foster love and acceptance. The person starts to feel different, more confident after the session. If there is a belief that the subject will never find love, the hypnosis state can allow them to daydream being in a great relationship and change the belief on the deep subconscious level.

5.    Hypnosis is only good for people who are dumb and gullible – FALSE
Actually, the smarter the subject, the easier it is for him/her to go into a hypnotic trance and have great results. Not sure why this is, but research has shown that the higher the intelligence, the more responsive the subject is to hypnosis.

The best aspect of hypnosis is the feeling you get in the state and after you come out. Many clients have claimed to feel light, joyful, and even giggly afterward. Some have the experience of floating weightless in a warm, wonderful cushion of comfort. This state is a natural high as your body returns back to homeostasis and reduces stress naturally.  There are so many modalities that claim to shift subconscious belief systems, but I find that hypnosis is the fastest, easiest and most enjoyable of the bunch.

How Hypnosis Works:
Since a majority of your thoughts are the same every day, you experience the same situations and people throughout your life that reflect the fixed ideas in your subconscious mind. All of your behaviors, thoughts and beliefs run deep in your subconscious on autopilot. Most of these ideas were stored before the age of ten and you have probably outgrown most of them. By updating the subconscious with new “adult perspective” information, your subconscious will take them on and automatically act differently.  Your conscious will is only part of the equation; you must have your subconscious in alignment with the new idea in order for the belief to stick.

Hypnosis allows the mind to be more open for change. In a relaxed state of mind, you can retrain your thinking to be in alignment with new ideas that you choose to give you the life experience you really want. Feeding the mind with suggestions in a hypnotic trance, the subconscious takes these ideas literally and will not kick them out like it does when you are not in trance. For example, if you are tired of struggling with your weight, hypnosis can transform beliefs about what food you like, how fast you chew and even motivate you to get to the gym. Daily self-hypnosis with supportive suggestions acts like training wheels for your subconscious mind. Usually after 30-60 days, the new behavioral change is permanent.

Many of my clients tell me that the process feels like magic. After years of struggling with an issue, they find their self-talk transforming and their behaviors more supportive to their goals. Affirmations are not enough. One suggestion in hypnosis is equal to one thousand affirmations. This is the fastest and most effective self-help system available.  Everybody should give hypnosis a chance to work for them.

The source of money is not “out there” but inside. All things come from you and your mind first before it is created in the external world. Unfortunately, you are probably so conditioned to believe that things come to you instead of being created from you.

In order to manifest unlimited wealth, you must first recognize the power within you to create your own reality. Acknowledge that you have created your current financial circumstances and by doing so you can then believe that you can change your situation. The famous Wallace Wattles says to use your will toward yourself by directing your mind on what you want. This means that you should stop reaching outside to get it and pull your energy and focus inside so that the abundance can appear to you.

Of course, you must take action but the steps you take should never come from a place of grasping. As you hold the energy of need you are reinforcing lack in your subconscious mind. The only way to hold this vibration of unlimited wealth is to stop paying attention to what is in front of you and maintain the belief that you will get what you intend even if you cannot logically understand how it will occur.

That said, this is not something easily mastered as you have been conditioned to think just the opposite your entire life. With practice, you can get into the habit of holding the feeling of abundance and will see more consistent results. The good news is that even a slight adjustment can make an incredible impact on your financial future. Daily self-hypnosis is a powerful way to give your mind training wheels and shift the root of your thinking into the direction of success.

The cool thing about life is that you get tons of do-overs. No matter what pattern of thought you were stuck in yesterday or even an hour ago, you can begin creating a new future now. All of your desires are already a seed of potential inside of you, learn to find, nurture and watch the roots of prosperity grow from within. Money does not grow on a tree, wealth is cultivated in the mind.

This occurs because you want the other person to be or act different. You want them to apologize, love you, treat you better, talk to you differently, or even worse, you want them to suffer. Many times it is about being right and other times about being loved. The reason your feelings are so intense if not because of their behavior as much as the story you have created around it. You may be confusing their action or lack of action as a gauge of your own self-worth. You need them to be different so you will be okay. The part of you that does not feel worthy is hooked into them and their actions.

So imagine that you are all light, a beautiful light beam. When you fall in romantic love, you hand a portion of your energy over to that other person and concerned about them loving you back.  When they leave, it feels as though a part of you is missing and you are constantly striving to get your energy back. You aren’t in love with the person but the idea of who you think they are to you.

So let’s turn this around to someone you resent. What if that person was harmful to you and you felt they STOLE some of your energy. You are still concerned that they have a piece of your energy and you strive to get it back. You really don’t hate them as much as you feel weak and want to gain your power back. This often happens when someone is raped, beaten or harmed by a stranger or even a loved one. You are mad at them for taking your power but they cannot take what you do not give them. It is an illusion that they have taken anything from you. Sure emotional wounds are deeper than physical wounds, but after the event is over, it is YOUR CHOICE as to whether you want to continue to have them hold your energy.

You stay hooked until you realize how powerful you are and do not need a response from them in order to feel worthy of love. If they had raped you and apologized, groveled at your feet, do you think that would make you feel better? No, you would still want more if you are still hooked. You would want them to suffer the rest of their life and would always want proof of their suffering. That is a lot of work! Do you really want to give that person more of your energy?  Wouldn’t it be nice to let God/Karma be in control of their debt and you become free of policing the universe?

What happened to you or why someone left may not have been your choice, but how you react and continue to view the past is completely in your control. By letting go, you allow those beautiful light beams that you gave away to return to you. You own your energy and the thoughts that occupy your mind. You are not condoning the act as much as releasing the pain you no longer wish to carry around the person or event. You get to choose…you are powerful and you deserve to keep all of your energy so that you can direct it at higher purposes and creating a better world.

The wise see that there is action in the midst of inaction and inaction in the midst of action. Their consciousness is unified, and every act is done with complete awareness.

The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results; all his selfish desires have been consumed in the fire of knowledge. The wise, ever satisfied, have abandoned all external supports. Their security is unaffected by the results of their action; even while acting they really do nothing at all. Free from expectations and from all sense of possession, with mind and body firmlly controlled by the Self, they do not incur sin by the performance of physical action.

They live in freedom who have gone beyond the dualities of life. Competing with no one, they are alike in success and failure and content with whatever comes to them. They are free, without selfish attachments; their minds are fixed in knowledge. They perform all work in the spirit of service, and their karma is dissolved.

—The Bhagavad Gita

There is a lot of talk about toxic assets that banks have on their books, but when you conduct an assessment of the relationships in your life, do you have any that are toxic as well? Toxic relationships not only bring you down but also block good things into your life. These people are not an asset but a liability in your desire for a richer, more joyful experience.

What is a toxic relationship?

A parent, sibling, child, co-worker, ex-husband/wife, friend who is a constant strain on your emotional life. These people tend to be highly critical of you or put down your efforts to improve yourself. Many times these mental contagions have their own problems and want to dump them on you by blaming you for their failures or dissuade you from reaching your own dreams because they are jealous or lack motivation to improve their own life. Many times the toxic person has an addiction, mental illness, extreme low self-esteem that keeps them stuck. If they cannot find themselves out of their problems, they do not want you to succeed and will attempt to pull you down when you reach for the stars.

How can they affect you?

Toxic people can send messages directly to your subconscious mind which sabotage any attempts you make to improve your life. Since your mind is an open system, you can pick up their negativity and accept ideas that come from them even if you do not agree on the conscious level. Just like toxins are hidden in some foods, sometimes people who think they have the best intentions can infiltrate your mind with negative beliefs. No matter how hard you try to think positive, If you spend enough time around them, your subconscious will accept the constant flow of ideas that are constantly around you. It is like these people are hypnotizing you to match their ideas!

Why do you keep these people around?

Maybe you feel sorry for them or feel the need to help them. Some stay in these relationships because they feel responsible because of family obligations. Others stay in jobs with toxic bosses or co-workers because they feel there is no other option, they need the job and simply cannot just walk away. Still some believe they do not deserve to have more positive people in their lives.

How does the law of attraction play a role in this relationship?

You tend to attract people in your life that play out a role in a part of your subconscious. If there is a part of you that does not believe she/he is good enough, there will be someone in your life that reflects that idea. Even if you are not aware on the conscious level, the subconscious can have a hidden belief that attracted that person into your life. Think of their interaction as feedback and work on yourself to clear the idea that created the unpleasant experience with that person.

What can you do?

There are many ways to deal with toxic relationships and you are the only one who knows what is best option for your particular situation. You always have the power of choice. You can choose to remain in the situation and complain about it, you can cut ties with the person completely, or you can learn to separate their behavior from your sense of self-worth and acceptance.

If you choose to cut ties, you must be sure to clear any emotional baggage that was accumulated through the relationship. Just physically removing yourself from them is not enough. If you still have mind-chatter about what transpired, such as regrets, anger or grief, these reactions should be addressed and cleared so that you can fully regain your power again.

If you choose to remain in the person’s environment (for whatever reason), you can take steps to protect yourself from their toxic vibes. First, try to identify what belief is running the drama in the relationship. If it is an idea that you are not good enough, work with your own subconscious mind to rewrite that script on the deeper level. Self-hypnosis is an easy, powerful way to do this.

Once cleared, the attraction vibe is deactivated and the person will naturally move out of your life or will amazingly shift their behavior toward you. Once you change the subconscious belief that drew them to you in the first place, you will discover that it is easier to keep your boundaries and not take things personally anymore around them.

Everyone that comes into your life brings a wonderful opportunity for healing. If you can discover the gift of that person’s presence and heal the toxic emotions created by their interaction, you will experience an intense freedom. No longer being unconsciously manipulated by those around you, you become a force of truth unbeatable in your desire to create an amazing, happy life.