Closing the Gap – Loving Where You Are

When I lived in Colorado, I did a lot of hiking. The mountains are so beautiful and there is nothing like the sounds of nature. One of those beautiful Rocky Mountain summer days, I was winding up the path to the top of a hiking trail and enjoying my time outside of the busy city. After a few hours, I noticed that my legs were starting to burn and I looked forward to reaching the summit. My mind shifted to focus on the destination and I quickly tuned out the singing birds, the waterfalls and the fresh air. I turned another corner only to find out that I still had such a long way to go.

At that point I was thinking about how out of shape I was, how I miscalculated the length of the passage to the top and if I should just turn around and go back. Out of breath, I stopped to take a break and then I looked behind me and noticed how far I had travelled up the mountain. My car was a tiny speck in the distance and I couldn’t believe how high I climbed. I was back in the moment, feeling proud of myself and how far I had come. I was able to hear the leaves ruffle in the wind and enjoy the view. The gap between where I was and where I wanted to be was closed. The last leg of the trip was pure joy as I was present to all the sights around me, even with sore muscles and tired feet. When I had reached to top, it was a good feeling to reach the goal but I knew that the gift was in the journey.

This story is such a great metaphor for life. Is there a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Are you waiting for your true love or for the next promotion? Maybe you are waiting to be happy until your vacation starts. The feeling of dissatisfaction does not come because the things you want have not materialized, but in the idea that what you want is going to make your life any better or happier.

When you create goals for your business or personal life, they aren’t supposed to be there to put your life on hold until they are achieved. Goals help enrich your life, not make your life. If you have the attitude that it isn’t enough right now, it will never be enough. You will always want more—more dates, more attention, more commitment, more money, more status, another business deal, etc.  You will relentlessly riding a treadmill that goes nowhere and leaves you constantly dissatisfied with your life.

The gap between where you are and where you want to be is created by your mind. The gap is a story you tell yourself about your life and how much better things will become one day. To truly find joy in life is to close the gap. Find ways to generate a full feeling about life instead of starving for something (or someone) to save you.

The secret to attracting unlimited abundance and love is to feel as if you already have it. Your subconscious mind cannot see the future and only creates what it already knows. If you want to shift your life in a new direction, you must create the space for the deep mind to build upon. It could form your life upon the idea of not enough or upon more than enough…your choice.

To generate the belief that you already have more than enough, turn around and take a good assessment of how far you have come in your life. Become conscious of all of your wonderful qualities and accomplishments. Really feel so proud of who you are and where you are right now. If you focus every day on a sense of fullness, you will keep attracting more good things into your life. You will always have more than enough of whatever you want if you believe you have it all right here and now. Everything out there is a mirror of your deep beliefs inside. You cannot escape your mind and it can make your life a heaven or a hell. Getting something external may temporarily make you feel good but will ultimately never be enough if you have the mindset of “not enough.” Conversely, if you have the belief that you are more than enough, even the tiniest of accomplishments will be celebrated with incredible joy.

So, the next time you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else, jump back in the moment and close the gap. Take a deep breath, exhale and say, “I have more than enough and everything I need is here for me.” Interesting things happen out there when you do this inside, but most importantly you don’t have to put off feeling good any longer.

Stress Free Holidays – Be Healthy, Wealthy & Calm

This week I did an hour teleseminar hosted by my good friend, Connie Bennett, author of Sugar Shock! We know this time of year brings up a plethora of emotions as we face overindulging in sweets, spending and family drama. We are offering a free replay for the month of December so that you can experience some LIVE HYPNOSIS (I do three short sessions) and explain how the subconscious mind rules your life and how to get in control of your destiny.

I created two special packages for this event at a greatly-reduced price:

Listen to the podcast below and here are links to the special product packages:

COMPLETE RELAXATION MP3 SET – 9 PROGRAMS FOR ONLY $67

WEIGHT LOSS MP3 SET – 4 PROGRAMS FOR ONLY $39

Stress-Relief Holiday Seminar – Click Here to Play

Battling Negative Thinking by Watering the Rose

When you realize that your thoughts create your life, at first you may feel liberated and think, “That’s easy, I’ll just change my thoughts.” However, when you attempt to shift the mind from its old patterns, a great resistance presents itself within you and you begin an internal battle. Your pattern of thinking has been consistent for decades and you cannot just flip a switch and become super-positive and attract a car, a lover, a house or a job overnight. The process of transforming your habits of thinking takes some time and effort but the rewards are amazing.

Of course, the fastest and most effective way to shift your thinking is using self-hypnosis because it works with the subconscious mind (the roots of your thinking). When your mind is in a relaxed state of trance, it is open to new ideas and allows the deep mind to absorb positive messages. It takes 1,000 affirmations to match the power of one affirmation in a hypnotic state. Depending on the person, it could take 30-90 days of regular daily practice to make a permanent shift in the subconscious about a certain core belief. During that time, the battle on the conscious level begins and many misinterpret this as the hypnosis isn’t working. The reality is that the closer you are to change, the louder the opposing force of thought becomes. It is actually working exactly as it should and there are ways to help it along by being present with your thinking throughout the day.

I recently came up with a great metaphor that may help you as you shift your thinking. Imagine that you have two potted plants in front of you. One pot contains a large, overgrown weed that contains all of the thoughts, ideas, beliefs that are not supporting what you want. The weed represents thoughts that are disempowering, negative and hurtful. Then, in the other pot imagine a beautiful rose. That rose represents the part of you that loves you, believes in you and attracts wonderful people, success and creativity into your life. Your focus directs which pot you water. So if you focus on the negative thoughts, you are watering the weed and it will grow larger and become more powerful. If you stop yourself and focus on the good in you and life, you are watering the rose.

You water the rose each time you listen to a self-hypnosis program, every time you do something nice for yourself or others, every time you think of someone you love or loves you, and every time you say “no” and keep your boundaries. You may not notice a big change overnight, but eventually that rose will grow into a large beautiful rose bush with lots of buds and a wonderful fragrance. The weed , without attention, will wither away and become weak. The negative thinking will slow down to a quiet whisper. There is a tipping point when you automatically water the rose without having to train yourself and you will naturally feel more confident, loving and positive about your life.

When you feel good naturally, you will be in the flow. You seem to be the lucky one, attracting opportunities, loving people, money, success and all those bonuses that you want in life. Regardless of what shows up, you just feel better. Remember, you get what you focus on so keep watering the rose and you’ll start to sing, “everything’s coming up roses!” in your life.

Five things that stop you from attracting what you want

There are tons of books and articles about the law of attraction and many of them tell you how to attract money, love or health. They make it sound so easy and you wonder why you aren’t getting the results that you want. If you feel like you are failing to shift your current circumstances, review these five common blocks that prevent you from attracting your desires:

1. Desperation – When you are holding the energy of desperation, you are really saying to yourself, “I don’t trust.” You get what you focus on, so shift your focus to faith and you should see a new outcome emerge.

2. Incompatible Action – When your actions are not aligned with what you want, you block the flow. Whether you just sit around and wait for a check to arrive in the mail, or date unavailable men while hoping to find a committed relationship, both inaction and misaligned action sends a signal to the subconscious mind that you are not really serious or focused on your goal.

3. Peers and Family – If you are focused on creating change in your life but there are people around you that do not want you to grow, it is more difficult to attract new realities. Many people who do not want to live their dreams often pull down those who reach for them, secretly hoping them to fail. Some people you may have to be around for family obligations, but the less time you spend with the “dream stealers” the more you will see an increase in your results.

4. Complaining – One of the biggest energy drainers in your life is complaining. Practice giving yourself seven days without a complaint and watch what changes around you. When you complain, you focus on what is wrong and you get what you focus on.

5. Believing what you see – Yes, this is a big one. Most people look at their life as a fixed circumstance. Since they do not see the money, love or weight loss they want, they have a hard time believing it is possible. Instead of believing in their dreams, they focus on the current reality as if it will never change. Start believing in the unseen and miracles will begin to occur all around you.

One last bit of advice when trying to use the law of attraction to bring change into your life. Trust in the process as life unfolds to you. Something unexpected, and sometimes unwanted, can be the bridge for a new reality. Even the darkest times have their gifts. Napoleon Hill in the book “Think and Grow Rich” says, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

Let Love In – Now a Bestseller on Amazon!

Debra Berndt’s new book is now available, but you can buy it today on Amazon. Now an Amazon Bestseller!
Let Love In: How to Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner is the first-ever self-hypnosis guide to attract the love of your life.

Law of Attraction Anxiety: What is the Real Secret?

Many people have seen the DVDs, read the books, attended the seminars to attract romance, wealth and more, but still are not getting results. In the areas of money and love, so many have tied their hopes and dreams of finding that magic ticket to become a millionaire or meet the love of their life. The problem is not that the law of attraction does not work, but most people attempt to create from fear. Sadly, many self-help experts thrive on that fear to sell their products that feed the addiction of external gratification. This process is ineffective and will keep you buying more products that do not work if built on the foundation of perceived lack.

Thinking that more money or having a mate will make you happy leads you down a path of unfulfilled expectations. In addition, being hard on yourself for not being successful, judging your current circumstances as wrong and believing that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed will keep you stuck. What you resist will persist and the anxiety you feel about not having those things will be a persistent until you let it go. Your subconscious mind perceives the feeling of lack and continues to give you that experience until you change your energy.

I am not taking about giving up on your dreams but acknowledging that there is nothing that can change in your external environment that will ever make you happier than you can be right now. Happiness is a choice and is solely based on your own perception. Even in times of complete devastation, you are free to interpret your circumstances. You are the one who decides what everything means.

When I was single, I had so much anxiety about my love life. I wondered when my time would come when my true love would find me and whisk me away from that awful singles world. After I met my boyfriend, who is absolutely incredible, I knew that I was still me and life was not all that different.

Years later, I left my thriving practice in Denver and moved to New York City. I had to start my business over again, money was tight and it took a while to generate momentum. In the first few months, I meditated everyday to help ease my financial stress. One day, as I sat there unable to face my anxiety any longer, a thought came to my head that shifted the tension forever. “Don’t you remember when you used to worry like this over finding a man?” There it was…life’s never-ending pursuit of something to get better…right in my face.

I realized that no matter what you seem to get in life, there will be always more that you need if you are dependent upon external forces to bring you happiness. Feeling as if the power is outside of you, it is no wonder that you would feel small and fearful. The anxiety that is created by lack of money or love must be addressed in order to be fully at peace. If not, you will be clinging on to any money that comes in or the first man that arrives, remaining in a state of uncertainty and turmoil throughout your life.

You see, what you really want is to feel good, not money or love. You are tricked to believe that joy comes in a nice fat check or the sexiest man or woman alive. A sense of happiness can be realized within you right now and supersedes any attachment to results that previously kept you in a state of panic. Working with the felt sense in your body and using visualization to release the tension is a powerful tool in discovering your own inner peace.

Self-hypnosis is the perfect technique to alleviate panic because it not only brings you to a state of extraordinary relaxation, but works with the subconscious gunk that caused the discomfort in the first place.

Once the anxiety is cleared and you have peace of mind, you can freely attract any of those external bonuses whenever you want. When they arrive, you will be amazed at how little they add to your sense of joy since you already found greater elation inside. Once you discover your own well of joy that is abundant within you, you will never feel lack again.

There is a myth that life gets better. This moment is all you have. Stop wasting it on thinking about what you don’t have and be grateful for this precious human life that is right here, right now before it goes away.

Check out my free teleseminar on Money Anxiety Freedom!

How Hypnosis Works – Life Coach TV Interview

Check out my interview on Life Coach TV in NYC. It is 30 minutes in length and separated into three sections for size consideration. Here I explain to Laurie Lawson of the International Coaches Federation – NYC Chapter Vice President the benefits of hypnosis and how it can help coaches get faster results for their clients. Learn the myths of hypnosis, the power of the subconscious mind and what stops you from reaching your goals. How hypnosis can help you shift your life in a new direction.

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Law of Attraction – 5 Ways to Shift Your Attraction Vibe

Many of my clients are familiar with the law of attraction and no matter how many courses, programs and books they read about it, they still seem to feel stuck. There are so many variables to using this law that are not explained by those who claim it to be SO easy. I hear many people say that they are so hard on themselves for not doing it right. Well, you are always using the law of attraction because it is always working. The problem is that you may not be applying it to attract what you consciously want. Here are some tips to help you shift the vibe and see miracles start to occur in your life.

1. Be open to any possibility. You may want to attract a certain type of person, money or a specific job, but there is a wisdom inside of you that knows exactly what you need. Trust in that intelligence and be open to what shows up for you. Maybe you are attracting what you want but you haven’t seen through the whole picture yet. Sometimes not getting what we ask for is also a sign that something even better is on the way.

2. Change the subconscious. Of course, many of those who are familiar with my work know that this is a huge component for success in getting what you want. Even if you do think positive on the surface, the subconscious mind could be holding a different idea and block your attraction vibe. Self-hypnosis is the best way to reveal subconscious blocks and amend them to get you back on track.

3. Watch Your Energy. You may be thinking positive but still feeling doubt or impatience around attracting what you want. If you are fearful about money or finding love, you are sending a strong signal to the subconscious that you really don’t believe you can have it. This immediately stops to flow to you and creates more of the same lack in your outer world. I just created two clearing programs to address these issues for money and love. Money Anxiety Release and Dating Anxiety Release. Getting your energy back on track will support you in abundance.

4. Protect Your Mind from Negative Messages. Whether it is the television, radio or even the crowd you hang out with, these outer influences penetrate your subconscious mind and hypnotize you unwillingly. Surround yourself with supportive people and happy movies and songs. Your mind will get the right idea.

5. Be Grateful. You hear this all the time but this is such an important element to attracting what you want. If you go through a list of ten things every day that you are grateful for, your energy vibration will that of abundance and love. This higher vibration sends out a signal to the universe that you want more of it. Check out my Gratitude Video – it’s free!

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is tough enough as it is. Go with the flow and be happy and grateful in the here and now. Follow those good feelings and more good will flow to you constantly. Remember that nothing out there in the world can make you any happier than you could be right here in this moment. Relax and be in the present to make every day a miraculous adventure.

Free Energy Grounding & Chakra Clearing Meditation

There is more to you than flesh and blood. There is an energy that flows through you and all around you that connects to all that is. You may think your body is separate but people read each other’s energy all the time. Having a clear energy system can make a difference in how attractive you are to money, love or having good health.

This free 8-minute audio is a Chakra Balancing and Energy Grounding exercise that you can do every day. You will notice profound differences in your thinking and sense of feeling in sync with your desires when your energy is in balance.

Many people are living in their heads and practically “out of their body” most of the time. They seek external sources for love and support because they feel empty. Once you learn how to connect to the earth and bring your energy field into your body and balance the systems within that energy, you can see an amazing difference in how you feel and act in the world.

Here is a brief review of the chakras, where they are located and what they represent. Refer to the image to see exact placement. You may notice that when you are experiencing an issue, the chakra related is the one that feels congested or stuck. By clearing the area with this mediation, you can deal with your situation more easily and access the divine guidance within you to lead you to the next level of your experience. Note that the chakras spin out and create your personal energy field which extends beyond your physical body somewhere between three to six feet, depending on your state of mind.

1^st – Base of Spine (RED) – Grounding/Sexuality

2^nd-  Just below the navel (ORANGE) – Relationships with Others/Reproduction/Creativity

3^rd – Solar Plexus- just beneath the rib cage (YELLOW) – Self Worth, Relationship to Your Self

4^th – Heart -center chest (GREEN) – Love

5^th – Throat (BLUE) – Communication

6^th – Third Eye -forehead/brow- (INDIGO) – Intuition

7^th – Crown of Head (VIOLET) – Connection to Spirit

Simply select the link and a player will appear and select the play button to relax and enjoy this quick 8-minute grounding energy and chakra clearing exercise.

The Lies and Truth about Hypnosis

When hearing the word “hypnosis” many immediately think of an old man with a pocket watch controlling an unwilling subject. The person appears asleep, often frightening events are recovered and, ultimately, the person emerges with sweat and panic. This is the hypnosis of the movies.

Then there are those amazing hypnotists at comedy clubs or colleges who mesmerize the audience with their power. They display their incredible ability to make people do things that embarrass them like barking like a dog, sexual acts or even forgetting their name. They argue that they introduce hypnosis to a larger audience and, to their credit many people emerge with a new understanding and interest in this cool process. Unfortunately, there are also some audience members who get scared.

While the previous examples can be entertaining in a weird way, the actual experience of hypnosis is much more profound and enjoyable than depicted in the movies or on stage. These performances can demonstrate the power of the mind but have caused much fear in people who contact me asking, “Is it dangerous?”  Here are the common myths of hypnosis and the real truth about this wonderful process:

1.    The hypnotist has power over his/her subject -  FALSE
The hypnotist or hypnotherapist is simply a guide to help the client/subject enter into the trance state. The person is in complete control of their experience and can open their eyes at any time. They can also reject any idea that does not match their moral beliefs. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis – there is no difference. The subject is completely in charge of how deep they go into the state. Some naturally enter more easily than others. You will notice the stage hypnotist will bring several subjects on stage and test to find the one out of the crowd that is more suggestible. About one in ten people are highly hypnotizable.

2.    You are knocked out and unconscious – FALSE
Depending on the depth of trance, most subjects hear everything and are very conscious of what is going on around them. Actually, the state helps the subject become hyper-aware of subtle sounds as their mind is more focused on the present moment. (Hypnosis is a great training tool for those with ADD.) Subjects almost always remember everything that occurs in a session. The feeling is similar to being absorbed in a good movie.

3.    Some people cannot be hypnotized – TRUE
Hypnosis is a natural state that every person enters in and out every day. It is the state of mind you enter just before drifting off to sleep and upon awakening. People experience a trance state when they are driving a familiar route, watching television or a movie, or even listening to an engaging speaker.  With that said, there are some people who cannot use hypnosis as a therapeutic tool because of mental impairments. This myth is a convenient excuse for someone who is not properly trained in hypnosis. Most failure rates are caused by the lack of rapport between the client and the hypnotist. No one can be hypnotized against their will. If proper rapport is not established, the client will refuse to relax.

4.     Hypnosis erases parts of your mind – FALSE
The hypnotic experience alone does not erase things from your brain or mind. What hypnosis does is create a relaxed state of mind so that the subject can work with his/her subconscious beliefs and amend them. The subject does the changing by accepting new ideas and beliefs in the state by working with the framework of their existing beliefs. Since all of our memories are part fact and part fantasy, the subject can rewrite the “story” in the subconscious mind so that the emotional reaction or thought patterns shift to become more in line with the person’s personal goals. For example, the hypnotist does not erase smoking from a person’s mind but can reframe the idea of smoking to be something unpleasant so that the subject will have no desire for the cigarette after the session. If a person has negative self-talk, the hypnotist can guide the subject to find resources in the subconscious that help to foster love and acceptance. The person starts to feel different, more confident after the session. If there is a belief that the subject will never find love, the hypnosis state can allow them to daydream being in a great relationship and change the belief on the deep subconscious level.

5.    Hypnosis is only good for people who are dumb and gullible – FALSE
Actually, the smarter the subject, the easier it is for him/her to go into a hypnotic trance and have great results. Not sure why this is, but research has shown that the higher the intelligence, the more responsive the subject is to hypnosis.

The best aspect of hypnosis is the feeling you get in the state and after you come out. Many clients have claimed to feel light, joyful, and even giggly afterward. Some have the experience of floating weightless in a warm, wonderful cushion of comfort. This state is a natural high as your body returns back to homeostasis and reduces stress naturally.  There are so many modalities that claim to shift subconscious belief systems, but I find that hypnosis is the fastest, easiest and most enjoyable of the bunch.

How Hypnosis Works:
Since a majority of your thoughts are the same every day, you experience the same situations and people throughout your life that reflect the fixed ideas in your subconscious mind. All of your behaviors, thoughts and beliefs run deep in your subconscious on autopilot. Most of these ideas were stored before the age of ten and you have probably outgrown most of them. By updating the subconscious with new “adult perspective” information, your subconscious will take them on and automatically act differently.  Your conscious will is only part of the equation; you must have your subconscious in alignment with the new idea in order for the belief to stick.

Hypnosis allows the mind to be more open for change. In a relaxed state of mind, you can retrain your thinking to be in alignment with new ideas that you choose to give you the life experience you really want. Feeding the mind with suggestions in a hypnotic trance, the subconscious takes these ideas literally and will not kick them out like it does when you are not in trance. For example, if you are tired of struggling with your weight, hypnosis can transform beliefs about what food you like, how fast you chew and even motivate you to get to the gym. Daily self-hypnosis with supportive suggestions acts like training wheels for your subconscious mind. Usually after 30-60 days, the new behavioral change is permanent.

Many of my clients tell me that the process feels like magic. After years of struggling with an issue, they find their self-talk transforming and their behaviors more supportive to their goals. Affirmations are not enough. One suggestion in hypnosis is equal to one thousand affirmations. This is the fastest and most effective self-help system available.  Everybody should give hypnosis a chance to work for them.

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