Letting Go of Someone – Healing Resentment

Have you ever wondered why you hang on to resentment or cannot let go of a person that you think you love even if they are not treating you well? Whether it is an ex-lover or a difficult or abusing person from the past, our inner mind reacts the same way. It is difficult to just let it go.

This occurs because you want the other person to be or act different. You want them to apologize, love you, treat you better, talk to you differently, or even worse, you want them to suffer. Many times it is about being right and other times about being loved. The reason your feelings are so intense if not because of their behavior as much as the story you have created around it. You may be confusing their action or lack of action as a gauge of your own self-worth. You need them to be different so you will be okay. The part of you that does not feel worthy is hooked into them and their actions.

So imagine that you are all light, a beautiful light beam. When you fall in romantic love, you hand a portion of your energy over to that other person and concerned about them loving you back.  When they leave, it feels as though a part of you is missing and you are constantly striving to get your energy back. You aren’t in love with the person but the idea of who you think they are to you.

So let’s turn this around to someone you resent. What if that person was harmful to you and you felt they STOLE some of your energy. You are still concerned that they have a piece of your energy and you strive to get it back. You really don’t hate them as much as you feel weak and want to gain your power back. This often happens when someone is raped, beaten or harmed by a stranger or even a loved one. You are mad at them for taking your power but they cannot take what you do not give them. It is an illusion that they have taken anything from you. Sure emotional wounds are deeper than physical wounds, but after the event is over, it is YOUR CHOICE as to whether you want to continue to have them hold your energy.

You stay hooked until you realize how powerful you are and do not need a response from them in order to feel worthy of love. If they had raped you and apologized, groveled at your feet, do you think that would make you feel better? No, you would still want more if you are still hooked. You would want them to suffer the rest of their life and would always want proof of their suffering. That is a lot of work! Do you really want to give that person more of your energy?  Wouldn’t it be nice to let God/Karma be in control of their debt and you become free of policing the universe?

What happened to you or why someone left may not have been your choice, but how you react and continue to view the past is completely in your control. By letting go, you allow those beautiful light beams that you gave away to return to you. You own your energy and the thoughts that occupy your mind. You are not condoning the act as much as releasing the pain you no longer wish to carry around the person or event. You get to choose…you are powerful and you deserve to keep all of your energy so that you can direct it at higher purposes and creating a better world.

Being the Strong Man Every Woman Wants

Love Coach Show host Debra Berndt interviews Elliott Katz, author of “Being The Strong Man Every Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man” now available on Amazon.com

Learn the traits that men need in order to succeed with woman. Moving beyond the trendy man’s role that doesn’t seem to work, Elliott Katz shares insights on being a man that have withstood the test of time. Interestingly, these insights are the traits that he heard many women complain were lacking in men today – showing leadership, making decisions and taking responsibility.

Seven Secrets to A Successful Marriage

Hypnotic Dating Show host, Debra Berndt Certified Hypnotic-Coach welcomes special guests Drs. Charles & Elizabeth Schmitz, authors of “Golden Anniversaries: Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage.” The topic is how do you know if you are really in love?

Listen in to this informative hour about their worldwide research on successful coupling. Find out the keys to having a relationship that lasts and determining the right one for you.

Hypnosis to Heal Loneliness

Listen to Debra Berndt, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Dating Expert/Author/Speaker discuss how to heal loneliness through the power of hypnosis featured on Denver’s CHannel 7 News.  25% of US households consist of only one person (up from 10% in 1950).  Not all of these people are lonely, but most who are go to food, television and alcohol to keep them company.  Try Debra’s new Healing Loneliness program to shift your thinking to increase your confidence so that you can go out into the world again.

Sex and Relationships

The taboo subject of sex is typically reserved for the girls, but not in my latest Love Coach Show episode.  My male co-host Chris and I discuss this delicious subject at length.  When we are recovering from a breakup or involved in a long-term relationship, sex is something that is usually on our minds.  Especially when we are not getting enough of it!  Believe it or not, all of our thoughts about sex, including our sex drive come from our subconscious mind.  Listen in today to find out what secrets Chris and I uncover about sex and the subconscious mind.

For those who are in a long-term relationship, check out my Increase Your Sex Drive mp3 to get the groove back.